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at the resturant with bae

waitress: *fills his glass with ice water*
me: *watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
me: you want my man or something?
her: wh-wat?
me: i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
me: I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
me: everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
him: aye calm down
me: nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy

"My idea of rich is that you can buy every book you ever want without looking at the price and you’re never around assholes. That’s the two things to really fight for in life."

- John Waters  (via detailsdetales)

(Source: marion--crane, via vintagegal)